Stop the world I want to get off!

It's already half way through February! This year is moving at such a fast pace. I have so many things that need doing right now that I have not got round to doing yet.

There have been some ups and some downs. A major down in recent weeks has been that our little home has been without heating for about 3 weeks. This has thankfully now been corrected and the place can now be quite tropical but it was rather amusing to return from the Lakes to find ice on the inside of our windows. In all fairness the broken boiler was 30 years old (older than me!!!) and so it was coming but so long as it still works it is one of those things that keeps getting put off. Unfortunatley it decided to break in what I swear is one of the coldest of the last 30 years but hey that is like our family tradition - if it is going to go wrong then it is going to go wrong goodstyle, no messing around with little problems. I didn't realise how draining being cold was though - it's exhausting and certainly left me with a (even-shorter) temper!

Unfortunatley that is not the only thing that has broken in recent days, my poor computer seems likely to be heading to that great scrapyard in the sky. I honestly feel like I have lost my right arm! I did not realise how much I used the thing and as my evaluation is fast approaching at work (just what a Saturday nightshift needs!) I really am missing it. Thankfully my dad is letting me use his at the moment for the essential things (unfortunatley it will not link to my printer) and I still have my iPhone for the other essentials (Facebook!!!). The most worrying thing for me at the moment is waiting to find out if things can be retrieved off the broken computer. Unfortunatley all of my pictures and doccuments were on that computer and the most recent ones were not backed up. The problem is that I have stopped backing up my computer monthly as my iTunes was getting so large that it was too big to be backed-up onto a CD. I have now learned my lesson well and if my files can be backed up I will be investing in some larger USB memory sticks for the important stuff and regularly updating my iPod.

The most important thing that I want to retrieve from that little lot right now are the pictures as the majority of them are from happy times with my best friend. I have the older ones from holidays to places like Budapest but the ones from our last holiday to Paris and our last Christmas are still there so fingers crossed. Speaking of my friend, I got a package this morning. It was the last package that I had sent her before she died. I have to say that I no longer have any faith in the postal service as the package that I sent contained a bar of chocolate that is now in powder formation and several (now shattered) shatter-proof CD cases. There were a couple of letters in there too (that I had written to her) and I have to admit that I have not been able to open them yet - for the time being the entire package is sat in a drawer until I am ready to return to it.

2010 plans!

I have decided that 2010 is going to be a better year. I can actually count on one hand the number of positives that were produced in 2009 and to be perfectly honest with you 2008 was not that great either therefore I am going to be more proactive this year.

So here is my plan:
1. I am going to learn to pole dance - this is one that I am already putting into action. It is something that I have wanted to do for a while, I am not very good at it but I am going to keep going because it is fun!

2. I am going to try pilates.

3. I am going to learn to run properly - so that my personal trainer does not stand there and laugh at me when I am doing so and so I can keep up with the lovely ladies at work!

4. I am NOT going to put the 5 stones that I lost last year back on this year - I have put a little more weight back on than I liked through firstly comfort then holiday and followed by festive eating so I am going to go back on the dreaded diet for a few weeks then actually follow Weight Watchers once I am back in my size 12 skinny jeans!

5. I am going to learn to knit socks - I have some fantastic Krafty Koala sock wool just begging to be knitted up (my favourite still has to be Twilight) as well as the best Laal Bear sock project bag and of course the essential set of KnitPro DPNs and therefore it would be rude not use 2010 as the year to learn to make my own socks!

6. I am going to learn to cook - I am 27 years of age and so this one has to be an essential at my age as I cannot live on salad and beans on toast. Plus I actually own Martha Stewart cookbooks so I am thinking that I need to use them.

7. I am going to make more time for my friends - 2009 above all other years has shown me how I need spend time with my friends as I have started the year without one of my closest friends which is something that I still struggle with.

There are other things in the pipeline but at the minute I am keeping them close to my chest!

There are a couple of other things in the pipeline but at the minute I am keeping them close to my chest.

Autumn

Autumn has always been my favourite time of year. Even from the days of being in primary school. I have always loved the fresh start of a new term and school year when all my uniform was new, my stationary was fresh and new and everything was at the beginning. I love when the leaves start to change with all the colours and how it becomes cooler but the sun still remains warm. I used to love harvest festival, looking forward to my birthday and how the build up to Christmas was just around the corner.

The other day I was waiting to turn onto the motorway and I started to smile to myself as I realised that time had come. The sun was shining and things felt good as I felt that I was in a place in my life that I really was happy. That happy feeling has stayed with me for the few days following that moment.

On Thursday evening I received a phonecall informing me that my best friend has died.

Autumn has lost that rosey glow, I have lost a real friend, and the world has lost an amazing person.

Feeling Fab!!!

Ok so I have to tell you that it has offically all been worth it! I was not too sure about it at first, there was the cost, the having to stop Thursday night Stitch and Bitch for a while, and of course the lack of real food, but this diet has been worth it! I am not at a goal weight yet but I have so far lost 4st 3.5lb, dropped nearly 4 dress sizes, and I feel fantastic!!!

I have been feeling a lot better in general over the last few weeks anyway but this week has really made a difference. The first thing was that I got my before and after pictures. I have not really seen a difference in myself over the weeks other than feeling that my clothes were a little baggy but even I was gobsmacked when I saw the difference and let me tell you it was a real ego boost. The other thing that has made me feel great this week has been the shopping. For the first time in my life I have been able to shop in places like Jane Norman and not only that but I have tired on and bought clothes that no only fit but are also not the largest size in the shop. I cannot tell you how, after so many years of hating and avoiding clothes shopping, great this actually feels.

This diet has put me (and the rest of my family) through hell as well as making me put my life on hold but right now it is worth ever moment.

Learning from one's mistakes!

We all know that we learn from our mistakes, well this is the mistake that I am going to learn from today... until this diet is over I am going to stay away from steam rooms!

Now that I have started to lose weight I have also invested in a personal trainer once a week and so this morning off I set to the gym for my training session. Well the session itself was not that great, although I seem to be making some progress in a few things I am really dissappointed in myself when it comes to the running machine as I do not seem to be getting any better.

After my training session I decided that I would enjoy a little swim being that I was already there, had my swimming stuff with me, and also that my charity swim starts in a month and so I need to prepare. Also now that I have dropped three dress sizes I have also bought myself a new swimming costume that needed to be christened! Well the swim was a bit of a mistake as the pool was so busy (I usually swim last thing at night as there are not as many people around and if I am very lucky I can even get a lane to myself!) and there was no happy medium either, they were either swimming at 2 or 200 miles per hour.

So after a little while I got fed up of ducking and weaving in and amoungst the general population and decided to leave the pool but felt that with all my hard effort of the morning I deserved to have a little steam before I went and got showered and changed (also it is weigh-in tonight and therefore losing a little bit more fluid could only help with the scales). Well this my friends was my final mistake of the day so far as yes the steam was very nice and very relaxing but it then did result in my actually passing out in the shower afterwards (probably due to a combination of dehydration and low blood sugar) which I have to tell you has not been the best feeling I have ever experienced. Thankfully when I had started to feel dizzy I had actually sat down so I didn't have too far to fall and also the showers are individual private cubicles so even more importantly nobody else witnessed this (it really would not have been a pretty sight).

Needless to say I have learned from my mistake and will be staying away from steam rooms for the near future!!!

A never-ending challenge!

This new diet is messing with my head. Now don't get me wrong this is mostly a positive thing as I really am starting to feel like a new woman with all the energy and the happy. The problem is that I am taking things to extremes. What started as a little tidying up has now turned into a full blown spring clean (yes I know it is nearly autumn but in true traditional "lex-time" I am a little late). This little challenge I swear will be the death of me! I am not usually good with the whole throw away bit - not to the extreme that you see on "Grime Britain" when a pile of newspaper has toppled and crushed them to death but I always feel guilty about throwing away perfectly good things and I tend to hold onto a lot of things for sentimental value. So I am trying to be strong with myself and get rid of all this stuff but it is harder than I thought.

I decided to start with anything paper and so out came the shredder. It was never ending! Every time I thought I had finished I found yet more. The poor shredder is now looking into retirement homes it is that over-used! I decided to throw away most of my old university stuff as well. I qualified 5 years ago this autumn and not only did I have all my paperwork from those 3 years that I kept in the hope that I would continue to read them and update my skills from time to time and that have since been looked at approximately never (most of it is now out of date anyway and I also have this bad, planet-destroying habit of just reprinting a required article off the internet so that I can scribble and highlight over it) but I also had all the paperwork from all the courses and also my degree that I have done since then. Now I ask you who would get sentimental about paper? Me of course! I want to throw it away, I have no use for it, it takes up room that can otherwise be used for something else but my mind starts off with all the usual sayings like "but that was all your hard work" or "you never know you might just be able to use it." Well it is all now in about 5 binbags and waiting to go to the tip.

So you think the paper incident was bad? Well that was nothing when we hit clothes country! Thanks to this diet I have now lost over 3 and a half stone and therefore dropped a few dress sizes and therefore most of the clothing in my wardrobes no longer fits. Now the majority of people would be jumping with joy and gladly throwing it all out to make room for new smaller and more fashionable clothes but no not me I start to worry instead. Should I throw/give them all away but what if I gain weight again and well I didn't buy that top very long ago.

I took a big deep breath, I took a binbag, and then I started to throw them all away. I was doing so well but then my gran found out what I was doing. All my binbags of clothes are now currently sat in her house! Do you see people what I am dealing with? It is not my fault I am the way I am because it is all down to my genetics!!! My gran is less than half the size that I was and yet she is going to wear those clothes! The clothes that she is not going to wear she will pass on to her friends for them to wear. I am actually waiting to see which one of these elderly ladies will be going out wearing my French Connection t-shirt that says "I may not be totally perfect but parts of me are fcuking brilliant."

There has been one item of clothing that I am unsure about - my magic cardigan. This cardigan was knitted for me by my gran (yes the same gran that is currently wearing all my clothes) back when I was a student nurse to keep me warm during the long night shifts. It has served me well over the years. Now it is magic not because it has wonderful healing powers or that it can make the night shift pass faster but because after a little malfunction with the washing machine it now has the ability to grow. Every time I put this cardigan on it seems to have grown that little bit more - it is huge! A few people can actually huddle together for warmth in it. In short it is now much use at work any longer. The trouble is that my gran knitted it for me and it was my first work cardigan and I don't feel I can get rid of it for sentimental reasons however it is so big that it will not stay on a hanger it is so big. I don't know what to do with it.

I have also hit the kitchen cupboards. Not for food because food is not allowed unless it comes in dust formation at the moment. How myself and my family have not had some mad illness before now is beyond me. I think the best expiry date I found was 1997. Now I do not get too worked up about expiry dates in general (unless dairy or meat) but there is a limit.

This challenge is never ending and I wish I had not started it but I have to keep going because there will be a great feeling of satisfaction once it is done. There have been some positives in that I have finally found my birth certificate and I found £10 that I did not know I had (already spent!). I am not sure the mental anguish is worth it though and I still do not know what to do about the magic cardigan!

Anyway off to the tip I go!

So much wool, so little time!

I think I have a problem! I can't stop buying wool, I just can't help myself! My stash box is full to the brim (well more than full to the brim since I bought those 400g balls!) and yet I go out looking for more!! I have projects upon projects waiting to be started. In my defence if wool is on sale then really it would be stupid NOT to get it - take for instance my alpaca wool - no I have no idea what I am going to use it for but it is alpaca, it is soft, it is cream and I got it for £21 instead of around £70 - in this current economic crisis I think that was a rather sensible move! Still I need t find some inspiration to sit and actually knit these things!

I have currently (though temporarily) had to stop attending stitch and bitch due to a clash in my diary - it's a real pain but unavoidable at the minute and I am really missing it! It is going to be August at least before I am able to attend again!

Right I am off to pick up the needles and sit in the sun - I am making the most of my days off since there are very few windows at work!!!